So, here I am applying my body skin care cream and all of a sudden I hear smash! I throw everything down and run to the living room to find my son standing there giggling with a broken lamp next to him on the floor. What do I do? Do I scream and shout at him for breaking the lamp because surely by the way he is laughing it wasn’t an accident. So, do I spank him or give him a time out? No, and I’ll tell you why.
I have struggled with how to deal with my child’s behavior for a long time but luckily I have come across a solution. Whenever my son would get completely out of hand I would have to think of ways to punish him that did not involve spanking or time outs. Personally, I do not believe in spanking and while time outs work for some children, they certainly do not work for mine. I found that giving clear warnings were appropriate. I would warn that if the behavior did not stop that all of the toys would be removed from his bedroom.
In order to gain back the toys he had to go a day without any major problems. Of course I could never expect him or any child to be perfect but if he managed to get through a day without any major fits then he would earn some toys back. The key here is that he was only earning back a few toys at a time and I let him pick which ones. You have to make sure though that the toys are fairly being taken back. For example, I would allow him the big hotwheel car back in place of three small things since the big hotwheel car is such a large item.
While some people would call this extreme, I found it to be the perfect solution for my son. He learned that he would not get to keep nice things when you misbehave and he learned to earn the things he wanted. It takes a lot of work on the parent’s side but that is fine as that is what parents are for. You have to remember that you are doing this for their own good though, sometimes for their own safety. I found my boy with his hands in a box of Din 931 hexagon bolts the other day. If he had swallowed one, who knows what could have happened. The discipline that we are trying to teach is for their own saftey when they are that age. The punishment I give to him is not about convenience as it is about teaching respect. After going through that whole process twice, my son learned to straighten up at even the slightest mentioning of all of his toys being removed again.
Of course I’m not saying that this is the perfect solution for everyone, but it works for me and my son and I’m sticking too it until he gets older and I have to find another method in order to gain respect. What is important is that he does respect me and my wishes and that is all I’m aiming for at this point in time.