The Damaged

If you ask me, shy people really get a raw deal of it. While extroverts rule the TV and are better at making friends, introverts often have trouble with the smallest of social occasions: in other words, life can be very awkward and difficult if you are of this persuasion, and to make matters worse the difficulties are present in every walk of life.

While the extrovert will be at home anywhere – in a seething festival crowd or at a more intimate occasion – the introvert may get nervous while just working with a few people on loft conversions , or when out in town surrounded by a small crowd. This is something which you can’t just flick a switch to change. It can affect you at any time, too, so really…what is the answer?

The answer, to my mind, is to start helping shy people at a younger age – after all, our culture is geared towards the outgoing, and often neglects those with social difficulties. Perhaps if we started helping children see that shyness wasn’t a bad thing, we would be getting somewhere. Because actually, in many ways shyness is a virtue that many extroverts would do well to follow.

here’s a trace of the old shy her there but generally speaking she’s a new person

When I was growing up, I had an exceedingly shy friend – a friend so painfully shy that it was impossible for most children – including me sometimes, I hate to confess – not to point and laugh. And, funnily enough, she now converts lofts for a living, which is why I used that example before.

Anyway, the point is that she did grow out of it, but I’m sure it was largely due to the help of the local youth group. Often I think about what would have happened if she hadn’t had this amazing opportunity (the people who ran the youth group were later featured on TV for their work) and had been instead left to fend for herself in a world of extroverts. While I’m sure she would have got over it eventually, she definitely wouldn’t have achieved it in the same time-scale on her own.

Now I speak to my friend – the phone in the crook of her neck while she’s refurbishing some ancient loft in the countryside – and she is happy. There’s a trace of the old shy her there but generally speaking she’s a new person.

And that, really, is what we need to bring to the new generation of shy children. If we do that then they can have a future as bright as anyone else’s.

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